I am here today to speak to you through this teleprompter about the evils of the repeblcas, the republcines, the regergitaz, the GOP. Now it is a well known fact, mostly because I keep shouting it at the top of my lungs that the GOP is racist. After all look who is running for President in 2016 Ben Carson a white anglo-saxon black man, Carly Fiorina Another white male woman, how about Ted Cruz, the whitest of Hispanic white men and the list goes on.
Having established the incredible racism of the GOP I would now like to point out that it of course was the GOP’s fault Baltimore rioted and it is hard to understand how anyone can think otherwise. After all if they did a better job at defusing the lies of the Democrats who run Baltimore then the riots would not have happened. If the GOP were to win an election in Baltimore the city might not be on fire, if the city were to hire more blacks for the police, hold on I am receiving news here. Umhmmm umhmmm yes, well that can’t be right, 3 black police officers are on trial for the Baltimore Freddie Gray case you say, check that again, no, no, you see the are really white black men, why because I say so that is why. It seems there is some confusion as to the race of the Police Officers but upon reflection I have decided that no matter what color of skin a police officer has they are immediately counted as white and therefore racist. It should be noted that I have filed a law suit for those white black men to change the color of their skin immediately. I promise all those people that follow in the footsteps of myself, the Reverend Alex Duller, I will take this case directly to the Supreme Court. Those men must change the color of their skin immediately because I find their dedication to their chosen profession offensive.
Now, after speaking to the President of the United States of America, yes the president of all 57 states, I feel it is well within my duty as a self appointed czar of racial idiocy to issue an ultimatub, an ultimatters, an ultra schick, an order to the rest of America, It is time for everyone to send me 5 American dollars to help fight poverty and racism by making this Poor black reverend Wealthy, and I say this with all my heart, send more if you can, oh and as per President what’s his name would like you not to burn down any golf courses or destroy any girlie bikes.
Thank you for your time
And remember if you’re a Democrat it is possible you are a non-voting dead person so keep up the good work.
Until Next time
The Reverend Alex Icantbe Duller
This parody has been brought to you through the anger and angst President Obama has caused Americans everywhere and from his audacity to blame the republicans for Baltimore. His statement is as ridiculous as this parody. God Bless America and may we find real people who have real answers.